My last check-up which was now many weeks ago was fine. Nothing eventful happened which is always good news.
The Avon Walk is complete. There is so very much to say but this blog was about my cancer so I don't think it's the place to say a lot about the Walk. I will definitely do some writing but it'll probably be in the form of thank you notes to everyone who helped with donations and/or kindnesses.
Barbara and I finished together. Recalling that she was with me throughout chemotherapy and all of last year's events, feel free to create your own metaphors. They all work.
I might find another place to write about this. I don't wish to link it to my cancer even though there are obvious connections. This chapter is coming to a close.
The neglect of this blog is a clear indicator of how I'm doing.
All of you Avon Walk supporters changed my life. I will make time to address all of you.
Tuesday, June 3, 2008
Friday, May 9, 2008
MRI Outcome
This has taken me a while to get to. It's good because it means Life is going on and that other things just matter more. Well, maybe not more but they are taking more of my time and focus. So, it's good.
I went in on Thursday, May 1 as I was experiencing some discomfort on a rib on the right side which is the side where I had cancer. I was told that I am still quite swollen from radiation so the doctor thinks it likely that there is fluid in that area causing the problem. I left happy with that answer rather than being told to panic or to go through some hideous test.
On the following Saturday, I went in for an MRI. This is the one the insurance company had an issue with covering but my doctor wrote a note or whatever and it was covered. The MRI was clear which for SO many reasons is great. The follow-up would've been an MRI-guided biopsy which frankly freaked me out last year. Last year's concerns that showed areas beyond my cancer were also apparently gone and/or diminished. MRI's don't diagnose per se. They just red-flag. They have a false positive track record of about 40%. I'm glad it was good and is over.
Next Friday I'll be seeing my surgical oncologist for the first time since this all happened. It's just a follow-up.
I will actually be dropping the whole radiation department from my team. The reason is that Dr. Kiel is leaving. We decided that for follow-ups, I can handle them with chemo and surgical oncologists given that I don't require any radiation issues at this time.
At the recommendation of the DNA specialist, I will be pursuing a choloscopy. It's basically to get a baseline but also of course just to look. I know it's a nasty procedure but if it means more information, I'm cooperating. I'm imagining I'll get to it over the summer.
The Avon Walk is coming up. I wish I could say I am ready. I just don't have time to train or even think about it. Again, it's good. My life is filled with work and two boys who now have their own hectic schedules but no driver's licenses!
Isaac is playing baseball and wrapping up school. Toby will begin some class this summer. Isaac will have camp for four weeks while Toby will go to school for those four weeks. I'm looking to work but haven't heard yet what the options are.
If anyone wishes to give to the Avon Walk, please ask what to do and I'll give you the information. My friend Gayle hasn't met her goal!
Thanks for reading.
I went in on Thursday, May 1 as I was experiencing some discomfort on a rib on the right side which is the side where I had cancer. I was told that I am still quite swollen from radiation so the doctor thinks it likely that there is fluid in that area causing the problem. I left happy with that answer rather than being told to panic or to go through some hideous test.
On the following Saturday, I went in for an MRI. This is the one the insurance company had an issue with covering but my doctor wrote a note or whatever and it was covered. The MRI was clear which for SO many reasons is great. The follow-up would've been an MRI-guided biopsy which frankly freaked me out last year. Last year's concerns that showed areas beyond my cancer were also apparently gone and/or diminished. MRI's don't diagnose per se. They just red-flag. They have a false positive track record of about 40%. I'm glad it was good and is over.
Next Friday I'll be seeing my surgical oncologist for the first time since this all happened. It's just a follow-up.
I will actually be dropping the whole radiation department from my team. The reason is that Dr. Kiel is leaving. We decided that for follow-ups, I can handle them with chemo and surgical oncologists given that I don't require any radiation issues at this time.
At the recommendation of the DNA specialist, I will be pursuing a choloscopy. It's basically to get a baseline but also of course just to look. I know it's a nasty procedure but if it means more information, I'm cooperating. I'm imagining I'll get to it over the summer.
The Avon Walk is coming up. I wish I could say I am ready. I just don't have time to train or even think about it. Again, it's good. My life is filled with work and two boys who now have their own hectic schedules but no driver's licenses!
Isaac is playing baseball and wrapping up school. Toby will begin some class this summer. Isaac will have camp for four weeks while Toby will go to school for those four weeks. I'm looking to work but haven't heard yet what the options are.
If anyone wishes to give to the Avon Walk, please ask what to do and I'll give you the information. My friend Gayle hasn't met her goal!
Thanks for reading.
Friday, April 18, 2008
Nothing Much
I just found some time and thought leaving "hair" up for too long looked like I was all about my hair!
I'm still good. My schedule continues to make it difficult to train for the walk. I'm concerned about it but as I have no solutions, it is what it is. I'm going to make it to the gym but the long walks I need aren't really happening.
I made the goal for the Avon Walk thanks to many people helping of course. My friend Gayle has not met her goal so I don't know what'll happen there. I'm giving her any checks or cash that come my way so that she can more likely meet her goal.
I'm considering staying in the "village". That's the tent area during the Avon Walk. My main reasons for not doing it are Isaac and Toby. I have to decide and soon.
In June, Ted and I are hoping to put together a cook-out, dinner or something for everyone who helped and also to celebrate that the walk is done. I'll get the word out closer to time.
I guess this isn't all about cancer now. What is this? I'm glad it's becoming ill-defined and not all about my next appointment or findings from my last one.
I do have an MRI at the beginning of May. I'll post results of that. Odds are very high for false positives. I endured that last time even with cancer and the follow-through isn't so fun. I am concerned about the whole thing but I have to go. I'll suck it up and make it.
Back to work. It's Friday and payday!
I'm still good. My schedule continues to make it difficult to train for the walk. I'm concerned about it but as I have no solutions, it is what it is. I'm going to make it to the gym but the long walks I need aren't really happening.
I made the goal for the Avon Walk thanks to many people helping of course. My friend Gayle has not met her goal so I don't know what'll happen there. I'm giving her any checks or cash that come my way so that she can more likely meet her goal.
I'm considering staying in the "village". That's the tent area during the Avon Walk. My main reasons for not doing it are Isaac and Toby. I have to decide and soon.
In June, Ted and I are hoping to put together a cook-out, dinner or something for everyone who helped and also to celebrate that the walk is done. I'll get the word out closer to time.
I guess this isn't all about cancer now. What is this? I'm glad it's becoming ill-defined and not all about my next appointment or findings from my last one.
I do have an MRI at the beginning of May. I'll post results of that. Odds are very high for false positives. I endured that last time even with cancer and the follow-through isn't so fun. I am concerned about the whole thing but I have to go. I'll suck it up and make it.
Back to work. It's Friday and payday!
Thursday, March 20, 2008
Hair
There's really nothing much to tell. I have been asked a few times, "Now what?" One person asked me how I'd know if all of the treatments worked. Essentially, I'll know when I'm sitting around old and cancer-free. That's when I'll be able to say, I guess it worked. That's the only answer I have for that. As for "Now what?" I am back to having little to tell on the health front. With health, no news is good news.
The next real update will be after my MRI next month. It's got a high likelihood of false alarms so I will most likely wait until everything is fully resolved before posting about that.
Let's see um...got my hair cut yesterday. My hair looks and feels pretty weird. I got it thinned and shaped but am still going to grow it longer. It's weird to have new hair at 42 but I have it. It's not good or bad but I feel in photos this will always be my post-cancer hair and that kind of bugs me. It's good to find things with cancer annoying rather than truly terrifying so this is fine.
I have my Avon funds raised to meet the goal. I have to send in some checks. I'm still doing fund-raising though as it's a good cause obviously but also because my friend Gayle hasn't met her goal yet. Like me, she's finding it hard to juggle children, work and now this big endeavor. She'll get there. Her mother is doing very well by the way.
I'm good. I'm feeling great. Thanks for the inquiries.
Ruth
The next real update will be after my MRI next month. It's got a high likelihood of false alarms so I will most likely wait until everything is fully resolved before posting about that.
Let's see um...got my hair cut yesterday. My hair looks and feels pretty weird. I got it thinned and shaped but am still going to grow it longer. It's weird to have new hair at 42 but I have it. It's not good or bad but I feel in photos this will always be my post-cancer hair and that kind of bugs me. It's good to find things with cancer annoying rather than truly terrifying so this is fine.
I have my Avon funds raised to meet the goal. I have to send in some checks. I'm still doing fund-raising though as it's a good cause obviously but also because my friend Gayle hasn't met her goal yet. Like me, she's finding it hard to juggle children, work and now this big endeavor. She'll get there. Her mother is doing very well by the way.
I'm good. I'm feeling great. Thanks for the inquiries.
Ruth
Wednesday, March 5, 2008
MRI Covered
As you can tell by the title, the MRI will be covered. I guess if the doctor takes the time to write a note, then it's okay. Whatever. I'm one of the lucky ones with health insurance.
On another note, I'm nearly to my goal for the Avon Walk. I am holding onto some checks in case others I know doing the walk might need them to help them hit their goals. If anyone wishes to donate, checks are great and can be made out to Avon Walk for Breast Cancer or to me and then I'll write a check straight to the organization.
I'm feeling good. It's good when there's little to report on the health front. It once was so complicated. I hope it stays this way.
Thanks to everyone for kind words, concerns and support in general.
On another note, I'm nearly to my goal for the Avon Walk. I am holding onto some checks in case others I know doing the walk might need them to help them hit their goals. If anyone wishes to donate, checks are great and can be made out to Avon Walk for Breast Cancer or to me and then I'll write a check straight to the organization.
I'm feeling good. It's good when there's little to report on the health front. It once was so complicated. I hope it stays this way.
Thanks to everyone for kind words, concerns and support in general.
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
No MRI
Wonders never cease. Never mind that Dr. Kiel is well, Dr. Kiel. She's my radiation oncologist. She is the one who recommended the MRI to follow the mammogram. Long story short, she kind of knows what she's doing. If I weren't sure, I could've checked the New England Journal of medicine which since 2006 has regarded MRI's as recommended follow-up for women who've had breast cancer.
However.........it seems my health insurance company, Blue Cross and Blue Shield along with Encompass who acts to review claims and potential claims, don't see fit for me to get an MRI. Well, shucks! I guess making sure that the margins where my cancer was remain clear just doesn't warrant money being spent. So, I didn't get the MRI.
The end? Um, no. Dr. Kiel is going to write something more formal to my insurance company to prove need. And then the cow jumped over the moon. Wait a minute. I'm getting confused. It looks like I wrote that a well-regarded oncologist is asking permission for what she and the New England Journal of Medicine regard as standard procedure. Let me re-read. Hmm. Yes, that's what I wrote.
We'll see. We'll see if the request from my doctor gets approved. If not, enter legal proceedings. I'll keep you posted. This is nonsense. I am not going to go on and on about the supposed "doctor" whom I've never met who reviewed this and that this is the system we've all come to accept. It does scare me for the future should I need some other procedures and they should then somehow be regarded as unnecessary. I'm breaking that potential precedent now by taking this on.
My DNA results were clear. This indicates that I have no extra worries regarding any new breast cancers or ovarian cancers. I found that out yesterday and am very glad for this news.
The Avon Walk is happening. I have $1020. I need $980 more. I can take checks, cash or the link can be clicked in the entry prior to this one and donations can be made online.
If you know of any good attorneys who are adept at challenging insurance claims being denied, please pass that along to me.
It's all good. Getting mad and activated beats sad and sick any day.
However.........it seems my health insurance company, Blue Cross and Blue Shield along with Encompass who acts to review claims and potential claims, don't see fit for me to get an MRI. Well, shucks! I guess making sure that the margins where my cancer was remain clear just doesn't warrant money being spent. So, I didn't get the MRI.
The end? Um, no. Dr. Kiel is going to write something more formal to my insurance company to prove need. And then the cow jumped over the moon. Wait a minute. I'm getting confused. It looks like I wrote that a well-regarded oncologist is asking permission for what she and the New England Journal of Medicine regard as standard procedure. Let me re-read. Hmm. Yes, that's what I wrote.
We'll see. We'll see if the request from my doctor gets approved. If not, enter legal proceedings. I'll keep you posted. This is nonsense. I am not going to go on and on about the supposed "doctor" whom I've never met who reviewed this and that this is the system we've all come to accept. It does scare me for the future should I need some other procedures and they should then somehow be regarded as unnecessary. I'm breaking that potential precedent now by taking this on.
My DNA results were clear. This indicates that I have no extra worries regarding any new breast cancers or ovarian cancers. I found that out yesterday and am very glad for this news.
The Avon Walk is happening. I have $1020. I need $980 more. I can take checks, cash or the link can be clicked in the entry prior to this one and donations can be made online.
If you know of any good attorneys who are adept at challenging insurance claims being denied, please pass that along to me.
It's all good. Getting mad and activated beats sad and sick any day.
Friday, February 1, 2008
Clear Mammogram
I went in for a mammogram today. I'm very glad that the location was moved as I didn't have flashbacks as much as I would've in the other place. This is in the new Prentice Women's Hospital. Waiting areas are called "suites".
I will have an MRI on Lincoln's Birthday. I'm off that day and Isaac has school so I picked that to avoid a day off of work and to avoid childcare issues. Those are always the issues but I have been working around them as much as possible. The MRI is status quo for a follow-up. No fun but it was to be expected.
I have another medical appointment at the end of the month. Even now that it's over, I'm going downtown for a lot of appointments. I'll post again after the MRI and outcome. DNA findings are likely in about a month.
I will have an MRI on Lincoln's Birthday. I'm off that day and Isaac has school so I picked that to avoid a day off of work and to avoid childcare issues. Those are always the issues but I have been working around them as much as possible. The MRI is status quo for a follow-up. No fun but it was to be expected.
I have another medical appointment at the end of the month. Even now that it's over, I'm going downtown for a lot of appointments. I'll post again after the MRI and outcome. DNA findings are likely in about a month.
Saturday, January 26, 2008
Updates
Okay, so I'm clearly jazzed about the Avon Walk. Beyond that, there is some stuff to tell.
I went in for a DNA counselling session on Wednesday. I was given the coloring book version. As I was talking to the couselor, she gave me quiz questions to make sure I understood! I hate quizzes! I did alright but to say I fully understand this stuff is just not the case. In short, it's highly highly unlikely that I am a DNA carrier. The only reason to proceed at all is my young age to have gotten breast cancer. So, they took blood, they're proceeding and I'll find out in about a month.
The reason to investigate is multi-faceted. The short answer is that if I'm a DNA carrier, I'm more vulnerable to getting cancer again. If I am, I will likely look to future surgeries to be preventative against cancer. However, I was told that odds are only in the 3% -7% range that the tests will yield any results in that direction. It's just a stone I don't wish to leave unturned.
The conselor recommended a colonoscopy. I'm quite sure I spelled that wrong. It's nothing any oncologists recommended but I'm going to do it. I hear it's a hideous test and I'll spare the details here. That's another long story about why to do it. Again, very very remote reason to do it but anything followed by a percentage sign to me means to do it "just in case".
On Friday I have my first mammogram since the last one I had which detected the cancer. I thought I was fine but I've been freaking out a bit. Saturday is a slower day obviously so I've had more time to hear my own thoughts today. I'll be okay. If I were given the option to back out, I'd still go. I feel a safety in getting checked but also fearful of course. Barbara is going to try to come with me. If she can that's lovely and if not, I'll be fine I'm sure. There's a British pub nearby and a bistro with a good wine list close by.
I've started a gym routine. It's to get my strength together, get healthier and to get ready for the walk. I am moving heaven and earth to get to the gym three times a week. So far so good but it's only January. I do a lame workout but with time, it'll improve I'm sure. I'm already getting better.
I'm good. I actually felt done with cancer but with the scary DNA consultation, tests in process there and now my mammogram, I do feel I'm again facing it. This will always be part of my life I suppose. I have much more to celebrate than to lament.
Thanks for reading if anyone still is.
I went in for a DNA counselling session on Wednesday. I was given the coloring book version. As I was talking to the couselor, she gave me quiz questions to make sure I understood! I hate quizzes! I did alright but to say I fully understand this stuff is just not the case. In short, it's highly highly unlikely that I am a DNA carrier. The only reason to proceed at all is my young age to have gotten breast cancer. So, they took blood, they're proceeding and I'll find out in about a month.
The reason to investigate is multi-faceted. The short answer is that if I'm a DNA carrier, I'm more vulnerable to getting cancer again. If I am, I will likely look to future surgeries to be preventative against cancer. However, I was told that odds are only in the 3% -7% range that the tests will yield any results in that direction. It's just a stone I don't wish to leave unturned.
The conselor recommended a colonoscopy. I'm quite sure I spelled that wrong. It's nothing any oncologists recommended but I'm going to do it. I hear it's a hideous test and I'll spare the details here. That's another long story about why to do it. Again, very very remote reason to do it but anything followed by a percentage sign to me means to do it "just in case".
On Friday I have my first mammogram since the last one I had which detected the cancer. I thought I was fine but I've been freaking out a bit. Saturday is a slower day obviously so I've had more time to hear my own thoughts today. I'll be okay. If I were given the option to back out, I'd still go. I feel a safety in getting checked but also fearful of course. Barbara is going to try to come with me. If she can that's lovely and if not, I'll be fine I'm sure. There's a British pub nearby and a bistro with a good wine list close by.
I've started a gym routine. It's to get my strength together, get healthier and to get ready for the walk. I am moving heaven and earth to get to the gym three times a week. So far so good but it's only January. I do a lame workout but with time, it'll improve I'm sure. I'm already getting better.
I'm good. I actually felt done with cancer but with the scary DNA consultation, tests in process there and now my mammogram, I do feel I'm again facing it. This will always be part of my life I suppose. I have much more to celebrate than to lament.
Thanks for reading if anyone still is.
Avon Link
Okay. So the Avon Walk. I'm doing it. It'll happen. If somebody is reading this and I haven't sent you a link via an e-mail, I think I posted it below. I sort of cut and pasted everything. Let's give this a shot. It tells in short, what's up, who's with me, when and how you can help the cause. If this link doesn't work, then I've reaffirmed that I am not technically savvy. Here goes!!
Click here to visit my personal page.If the text above does not appear as a clickable link, you can visit the web address:http://info.avonfoundation.org/site/TR/Walk2008/Chicago?px=3840911&pg=personal&fr_id=1450&et=pnVYC0LM9e1KF49hdYx7cQ..&s_tafId=261526
Click here to visit my personal page.If the text above does not appear as a clickable link, you can visit the web address:http://info.avonfoundation.org/site/TR/Walk2008/Chicago?px=3840911&pg=personal&fr_id=1450&et=pnVYC0LM9e1KF49hdYx7cQ..&s_tafId=261526
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
Avon Walk
This is just a quick note to let anyone reading this know that I'll be doing the Avon Walk. It is May 30 - June 1. My friend Gayle is joining me as she'd planned. Since we've been planning this, her mother was diagnosed with breast cancer.
I'm going to an information meeting on Wednesday evening so will be back here with information and sorry but also requests for funding. I have a packet here but haven't gotten to reading it yet.
I just started working out at the gym. It's crazy to find the time. I'm hoping to find creative scheduling ideas.
I'm good. My hair is short and dark which is weird but it beats wearing a wig. I don't know if my previous hair color will return or not. I feel physically good and am looking to new health habits.
It's going to be a way better year than '07! Happy New Year!
I'm going to an information meeting on Wednesday evening so will be back here with information and sorry but also requests for funding. I have a packet here but haven't gotten to reading it yet.
I just started working out at the gym. It's crazy to find the time. I'm hoping to find creative scheduling ideas.
I'm good. My hair is short and dark which is weird but it beats wearing a wig. I don't know if my previous hair color will return or not. I feel physically good and am looking to new health habits.
It's going to be a way better year than '07! Happy New Year!
Thursday, December 13, 2007
More Endings
Maybe this will never fully end. I've been told that.
I started tomoxafen two days ago. I saw the chemo oncologist on Monday.
Wednesday I took the day off of work to get my port taken out. It was outpatient surgery and ultimately not a big deal. I only had local anesthetic. I am glad it's gone. I was given it in a container to take with me. Yuck. I will likely toss it.
My hair is coming back nearly black. I don't know if it'll stay that way. I figure in a month or less I'll be walking around without my wig or scarves. I will probably have to have my hair cut and styled even though it's crazy short. I look unkempt at best when I take off my head coverings.
I'm good. Work continues. Boys are fabulous. My house is one mess after another. Ted is working too much but making good waves in the world. Life is good.
Ruth
I started tomoxafen two days ago. I saw the chemo oncologist on Monday.
Wednesday I took the day off of work to get my port taken out. It was outpatient surgery and ultimately not a big deal. I only had local anesthetic. I am glad it's gone. I was given it in a container to take with me. Yuck. I will likely toss it.
My hair is coming back nearly black. I don't know if it'll stay that way. I figure in a month or less I'll be walking around without my wig or scarves. I will probably have to have my hair cut and styled even though it's crazy short. I look unkempt at best when I take off my head coverings.
I'm good. Work continues. Boys are fabulous. My house is one mess after another. Ted is working too much but making good waves in the world. Life is good.
Ruth
Thursday, December 6, 2007
The End
I had my last radiation treatment today. That says it all I think.
I will begin tomoxafin very soon. I am seeing the chemo oncologist Monday to get that going.
Thanks for checking in.
I will begin tomoxafin very soon. I am seeing the chemo oncologist Monday to get that going.
Thanks for checking in.
Wednesday, November 14, 2007
Of Course
I thought I was going to be done with radiation the Monday after Thanksgiving but of course, there's a catch. I will be done with the main radiation treatments. There are seven more called "the boost". Why cancer treatments get catchy titles, I don't know. I can tell you others if you ask.
Essentially, I will get seven rounds in a more local area on my body. It's not even regarded as a lot of radiation; supplemental even. I think that's why it got overlooked in communicating to me. For me however, it means seven additional days to haul downtown, seven days of running out the door earlier than I'd like from work, seven days to pay for parking, three days to pay for the additional help of picking up the boys, and seven more days of being separated from the boys for extra time. It truly sucks. There. I'm done with that.
This has added more stress to my life than I'd anticipated but....I'm feeling physically good. I'm tired today but I'm chalking that up to stress, work and schedule.
I'll be done December 4 unless I screwed up again. Well, actually Northwestern missed the communication with me. Did I mention that?
This will soon be behind us.
I'm getting hair! I'm not sure what's going on with the color! It looks darker. There's always an option for Clairol down the road, right?
Happy Thanksgiving. Mine will be good. I hope the same for anyone reading this.
Essentially, I will get seven rounds in a more local area on my body. It's not even regarded as a lot of radiation; supplemental even. I think that's why it got overlooked in communicating to me. For me however, it means seven additional days to haul downtown, seven days of running out the door earlier than I'd like from work, seven days to pay for parking, three days to pay for the additional help of picking up the boys, and seven more days of being separated from the boys for extra time. It truly sucks. There. I'm done with that.
This has added more stress to my life than I'd anticipated but....I'm feeling physically good. I'm tired today but I'm chalking that up to stress, work and schedule.
I'll be done December 4 unless I screwed up again. Well, actually Northwestern missed the communication with me. Did I mention that?
This will soon be behind us.
I'm getting hair! I'm not sure what's going on with the color! It looks darker. There's always an option for Clairol down the road, right?
Happy Thanksgiving. Mine will be good. I hope the same for anyone reading this.
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
Radiation
Catchy title, huh? Is anyone still reading this?
I started radiation yesterday. I am at a brand new hospital. It just opened less than a week ago. I am the fourth radiation patient.
The clinic is not fully up and running. For me that means hardly anyone around, new everything and a very good lack of commotion. I hope it also means that I'll be in and out quickly. I was promised I would be.
I'm handling things as Isaac and Toby make sure that I have no other options. They keep me in check.
I have a babysitter picking up Isaac and Toby on Tuesdays and Thursdays. It looks like I can get home on time but it gives me extra time two days a week. The boys love the sitter so it's good. It also gets them together a bit earlier which is good.
I have five weeks of treatments, five days a week. I'm going directly from work. It means no staying for extra whatevers including taking care of business. Home and work are definitely impacted but it is what it is.
This isn't about radiation but.... Toby had his birthday party on Sunday. It felt like the most normal event in our house thus far. It's so simple and so essential. We haven't had too many guests except people there for the purpose of communing with me through the ookiness of chemo or whatever. It was nice to have people there just to eat cake, get goody bags and to look at the little blonde boy blow out his candles. I wished with him.
Thanksgiving will be with Larry and Mary in Chicago. Thanks to them for that invitation. The Saturday after Thanksgiving will be in Indianapolis for a belated Thanksgiving with my family. I thought I'd miss this one but now I won't. I can keep my record of never missing a Thanksgiving with my family in Indianapolis. Thanksgiving will also signal the almost end of radiation as well. The Monday after should be the last one.
Again, so much to be grateful for and still some muck to wade through. It's less wading than I've been through thus far it seems.
Call, write, whatever. Or just check in here.
I started radiation yesterday. I am at a brand new hospital. It just opened less than a week ago. I am the fourth radiation patient.
The clinic is not fully up and running. For me that means hardly anyone around, new everything and a very good lack of commotion. I hope it also means that I'll be in and out quickly. I was promised I would be.
I'm handling things as Isaac and Toby make sure that I have no other options. They keep me in check.
I have a babysitter picking up Isaac and Toby on Tuesdays and Thursdays. It looks like I can get home on time but it gives me extra time two days a week. The boys love the sitter so it's good. It also gets them together a bit earlier which is good.
I have five weeks of treatments, five days a week. I'm going directly from work. It means no staying for extra whatevers including taking care of business. Home and work are definitely impacted but it is what it is.
This isn't about radiation but.... Toby had his birthday party on Sunday. It felt like the most normal event in our house thus far. It's so simple and so essential. We haven't had too many guests except people there for the purpose of communing with me through the ookiness of chemo or whatever. It was nice to have people there just to eat cake, get goody bags and to look at the little blonde boy blow out his candles. I wished with him.
Thanksgiving will be with Larry and Mary in Chicago. Thanks to them for that invitation. The Saturday after Thanksgiving will be in Indianapolis for a belated Thanksgiving with my family. I thought I'd miss this one but now I won't. I can keep my record of never missing a Thanksgiving with my family in Indianapolis. Thanksgiving will also signal the almost end of radiation as well. The Monday after should be the last one.
Again, so much to be grateful for and still some muck to wade through. It's less wading than I've been through thus far it seems.
Call, write, whatever. Or just check in here.
Wednesday, October 3, 2007
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
One More!
I had a chemo treatment yesterday. I have some fatigue and some itching. The problem is Benadryl helps with itching but adds to fatigue!
I'm really really good. I'm back to complaining about things that blew past me when I was more afraid and more ill. I'm feeling like my old self whether anyone likes it or not. I don't think I'll ever take getting out of bed in the morning for granted again though. Getting out of bed is my definition of a good day.
I'm eating more organics and less meat. I pretty much gave up coffee which even I can't believe. Once radiation is done, I need to get exercise into my life. I find it truly impossible with my schedule. Duck if you're one of those who says there's always a way to make time for such things.
I wanted to thank my cousin Jennifer and everyone else for being kind and flexible. It looks like Thanksgiving will be on the Saturday after the real holiday. This is due to my radition schedule which is daily Monday through Friday. By moving it to Saturday, travel will be easier. I had toyed with the idea of not going but, no offense to the grown-ups that I love dearly, I couldn't get past Isaac not seeing Kate and Grace. I'm so glad we'll be there for Thanksgiving, Saturday or whatever. I don't think I've missed the gathering in my whole life and now I don't have to. This cancer took away a lot of special times so I'm glad this isn't among them.
My last chemo is October 1. It feels like my birthday is coming. Well, you know when you're a kid and it's your birthday. It's that kind of excitement.
The next step is to get some genetic testing. I've kind of decided, with input from my chemo oncologist, that if it looks like I'm carrying the DNA marker for breast cancer, it would make sense to have my ovaries taken out. Studies show that active ovaries can encourage further breast cancer and also lead to ovarian cancer. The link between the two is undeniable but it seems when the DNA is set with cancer in it only. If this makes no sense, I'll keep you posted on what happens next.
I'm good. I'm going to be even better. This is going to be behind us before you know it.
I'm really really good. I'm back to complaining about things that blew past me when I was more afraid and more ill. I'm feeling like my old self whether anyone likes it or not. I don't think I'll ever take getting out of bed in the morning for granted again though. Getting out of bed is my definition of a good day.
I'm eating more organics and less meat. I pretty much gave up coffee which even I can't believe. Once radiation is done, I need to get exercise into my life. I find it truly impossible with my schedule. Duck if you're one of those who says there's always a way to make time for such things.
I wanted to thank my cousin Jennifer and everyone else for being kind and flexible. It looks like Thanksgiving will be on the Saturday after the real holiday. This is due to my radition schedule which is daily Monday through Friday. By moving it to Saturday, travel will be easier. I had toyed with the idea of not going but, no offense to the grown-ups that I love dearly, I couldn't get past Isaac not seeing Kate and Grace. I'm so glad we'll be there for Thanksgiving, Saturday or whatever. I don't think I've missed the gathering in my whole life and now I don't have to. This cancer took away a lot of special times so I'm glad this isn't among them.
My last chemo is October 1. It feels like my birthday is coming. Well, you know when you're a kid and it's your birthday. It's that kind of excitement.
The next step is to get some genetic testing. I've kind of decided, with input from my chemo oncologist, that if it looks like I'm carrying the DNA marker for breast cancer, it would make sense to have my ovaries taken out. Studies show that active ovaries can encourage further breast cancer and also lead to ovarian cancer. The link between the two is undeniable but it seems when the DNA is set with cancer in it only. If this makes no sense, I'll keep you posted on what happens next.
I'm good. I'm going to be even better. This is going to be behind us before you know it.
Monday, August 27, 2007
CT Scan
There's not much to report. I think it's largely due to my not wanting to report. I had a ct scan on Thursday. I now am tattooed but not in a fun way. I have two small black dots on my body. That's for aiming the radiation stuff. My first appointment is on October 23. I will go Monday through Friday for five weeks! It's only short sessions but hauling downtown and oh yeah working and oh yeah mothering two boys are the issues. It'll work. I wasn't given a list of options when this plan was put into place.
I've been into work a few times. Essentially I marvel at all there is to do and wonder who will do it. Then I realize that it's me and remember that I have no idea how to do the job. I hope I remember soon. Work officially starts on Wednesday.
Isaac and Toby will be with a sitter for the days I go into work this week. Toby will also have a sitter for two days next week. Isaac starts school the day after Labor Day. I think he'll be fine. I hope the school and the before and after school care program are okay.
I'm sad to let the summer go as it was such a sucky one. I don't know where to put in for a do-over. On the other hand, letting it go, means welcoming a better one soon. I also am looking forward to so much. There's a lot that's been missing. I realize that so much when I get bits back. I'm getting more back all the time.
Thanks to everyone who even gave me a kind thought. I hope when this is all over I properly thank everyone. I'm sure I won't but I promise to try.
I'm feeling verbose but perhaps less is more.
I've been into work a few times. Essentially I marvel at all there is to do and wonder who will do it. Then I realize that it's me and remember that I have no idea how to do the job. I hope I remember soon. Work officially starts on Wednesday.
Isaac and Toby will be with a sitter for the days I go into work this week. Toby will also have a sitter for two days next week. Isaac starts school the day after Labor Day. I think he'll be fine. I hope the school and the before and after school care program are okay.
I'm sad to let the summer go as it was such a sucky one. I don't know where to put in for a do-over. On the other hand, letting it go, means welcoming a better one soon. I also am looking forward to so much. There's a lot that's been missing. I realize that so much when I get bits back. I'm getting more back all the time.
Thanks to everyone who even gave me a kind thought. I hope when this is all over I properly thank everyone. I'm sure I won't but I promise to try.
I'm feeling verbose but perhaps less is more.
Tuesday, August 21, 2007
Another Chemo Down!
I went in for my first non-yucky chemo yesterday. So far, that medical description of "non-yucky" is accurate. I feel much more like myself and no hints of nausea or extra fatigue.
I had a rough go with the last chemo treatment. I had every symptom under the sun throughout the two weeks. I ended up losing five pounds over the two weeks and was dehydrated when I went in for chemo yesterday. It wasn't a huge deal as they hydrated me but that tacked an extra hour onto the chemo experience.
Barbara came for the first part of the experience and Mary stayed until the bitter end. It really does make time pass faster with somebody nice there. I ended up there from 10:30 to slightly after 4. Not what I had planned!
I think today since I'm feeling physically better than I've felt in some time, I just feel like this is all truly at some point going to come to an end. Psychologically, it's hard to separate chemo symptoms from cancer even though my cancer had no physical symptoms. I don't know if that makes any sense.
I went into work last week. There's a legal situation so it's a bit hairy but on the other hand, not really. It'll take a lot of extra work as will every case I have this coming year it seems, but that's okay. I was glad that I had the energy and the knowledge to compose a letter to an attorney. At least on my job, the missions are all so very worth it. It's going to be a wild school year but I'll be up for it. My principal has my back in professional matters and health matters so I'm good. I start work for real a week from Wednesday. I'm going in again on Friday though.
I saw Jennifer, Cathy and my mother last week. I wasn't 100% while they were here but we didn't do too much. I was very touched especially that Cathy came as she quickly returned to the Virgin Islands. Jennifer also helped so very much by hauling up here with my mother as I didn't foresee leaving Skokie anytime soon but did wish to see her.
I feel even better than on my good days with the other chemo. I think that junk is just out of me. I'm glad.
Reminder: Toby's birthday is in October. It's the 20th but we don't know when we'll be celebrating yet. It'll be at the house with some cake creation. We're discussing trains. Anyone reading this is invited.
Having read this, I realize, it's not all about chemo. My life is getting to be less and less about getting through this cancer treatment so while it's unrelated, I'm going to leave it. Maybe soon my posts about cancer will be single sentences.
I had a rough go with the last chemo treatment. I had every symptom under the sun throughout the two weeks. I ended up losing five pounds over the two weeks and was dehydrated when I went in for chemo yesterday. It wasn't a huge deal as they hydrated me but that tacked an extra hour onto the chemo experience.
Barbara came for the first part of the experience and Mary stayed until the bitter end. It really does make time pass faster with somebody nice there. I ended up there from 10:30 to slightly after 4. Not what I had planned!
I think today since I'm feeling physically better than I've felt in some time, I just feel like this is all truly at some point going to come to an end. Psychologically, it's hard to separate chemo symptoms from cancer even though my cancer had no physical symptoms. I don't know if that makes any sense.
I went into work last week. There's a legal situation so it's a bit hairy but on the other hand, not really. It'll take a lot of extra work as will every case I have this coming year it seems, but that's okay. I was glad that I had the energy and the knowledge to compose a letter to an attorney. At least on my job, the missions are all so very worth it. It's going to be a wild school year but I'll be up for it. My principal has my back in professional matters and health matters so I'm good. I start work for real a week from Wednesday. I'm going in again on Friday though.
I saw Jennifer, Cathy and my mother last week. I wasn't 100% while they were here but we didn't do too much. I was very touched especially that Cathy came as she quickly returned to the Virgin Islands. Jennifer also helped so very much by hauling up here with my mother as I didn't foresee leaving Skokie anytime soon but did wish to see her.
I feel even better than on my good days with the other chemo. I think that junk is just out of me. I'm glad.
Reminder: Toby's birthday is in October. It's the 20th but we don't know when we'll be celebrating yet. It'll be at the house with some cake creation. We're discussing trains. Anyone reading this is invited.
Having read this, I realize, it's not all about chemo. My life is getting to be less and less about getting through this cancer treatment so while it's unrelated, I'm going to leave it. Maybe soon my posts about cancer will be single sentences.
Tuesday, August 7, 2007
No More Yucky Ones
I finished my last yucky chemo treatment yesterday. So, they say. The next four are supposed to be much easier with the nausea and fatigue elements removed.
I had a rough go yesterday with general fatigue, muscly stuff and crabbiness due to the duration of this. I felt better in the middle of the night so got up at 3:30. I thought it'd be okay to indulge as the boys were going to be out during the day. I had to take a nap today which turned out to be longer than I'd hoped and I'm still tired. I feel much better than yesterday though and tomorrow promises to be better than today.
My house is in dire straits and my mother and cousin(s) are coming on Sunday!! Whenever I think about getting to it, it doesn't happen due to fatigue. Today I went grocery shopping, did laundry and that's it. Scene.
I'm glad we have a/c and selfishly glad for the heat as it removes the guilt of taking the boys outside.
Last night, wonderful neighbors who don't have a disastrous house inside, took Isaac over for dinner and an attempted sleepover. He came back home at 10 p.m. which is what I was hoping for. So, it was a good night. We have the best neighbors across the street. They have a seven year old boy and a five year old girl. I hate that I met them at this time of my life but they'll see the real me soon.
I'm scheduled for the next four treatments. It'll all get interesting as three interfere with work. My principal has been kind and as I'm a union gal, she doesn't really have a choice. Still, she could make it difficult and really hasn't. I can't imagine working again but by the time it rolls around, I'll be much more myself.
We had a very good time in NH although the snob meter was up pretty high there. Don't get me wrong, I like to do the snob thing but I reserve it to pretending I know about wine, cuisine and the arts. This snob thing pervaded even grocery shopping and attitude at a beach! In my opinion, snobbery has its place here and there but not everywhere. So, the folk outsnobbed me. I guess when you have multi-million dollar summer homes in the east in the oldest resort town in the country, these things happen. It was beautiful though.
Ted's co-worker's husband, took my boys, his girls and me out for a couple of day trips. It was quite kind as it took navigating off of my shoulders. We would not have made the day trip to Maine on our own. So, kindnesses are always appearing and always appreciated.
I'm still me. I think more hair is going but at this point, whatever. I still have eyebrows and am hoping they hang on to the end. I'm still ahead of the game with hairloss but again, who cares?
I had a rough go yesterday with general fatigue, muscly stuff and crabbiness due to the duration of this. I felt better in the middle of the night so got up at 3:30. I thought it'd be okay to indulge as the boys were going to be out during the day. I had to take a nap today which turned out to be longer than I'd hoped and I'm still tired. I feel much better than yesterday though and tomorrow promises to be better than today.
My house is in dire straits and my mother and cousin(s) are coming on Sunday!! Whenever I think about getting to it, it doesn't happen due to fatigue. Today I went grocery shopping, did laundry and that's it. Scene.
I'm glad we have a/c and selfishly glad for the heat as it removes the guilt of taking the boys outside.
Last night, wonderful neighbors who don't have a disastrous house inside, took Isaac over for dinner and an attempted sleepover. He came back home at 10 p.m. which is what I was hoping for. So, it was a good night. We have the best neighbors across the street. They have a seven year old boy and a five year old girl. I hate that I met them at this time of my life but they'll see the real me soon.
I'm scheduled for the next four treatments. It'll all get interesting as three interfere with work. My principal has been kind and as I'm a union gal, she doesn't really have a choice. Still, she could make it difficult and really hasn't. I can't imagine working again but by the time it rolls around, I'll be much more myself.
We had a very good time in NH although the snob meter was up pretty high there. Don't get me wrong, I like to do the snob thing but I reserve it to pretending I know about wine, cuisine and the arts. This snob thing pervaded even grocery shopping and attitude at a beach! In my opinion, snobbery has its place here and there but not everywhere. So, the folk outsnobbed me. I guess when you have multi-million dollar summer homes in the east in the oldest resort town in the country, these things happen. It was beautiful though.
Ted's co-worker's husband, took my boys, his girls and me out for a couple of day trips. It was quite kind as it took navigating off of my shoulders. We would not have made the day trip to Maine on our own. So, kindnesses are always appearing and always appreciated.
I'm still me. I think more hair is going but at this point, whatever. I still have eyebrows and am hoping they hang on to the end. I'm still ahead of the game with hairloss but again, who cares?
Tuesday, July 24, 2007
Three Down
I had a chemo treatment yesterday. Three yucky ones down and only one of these kind left. The four after promise to be easier.
I had a yucky evening last night but am still doing well. Blood counts all good and last night was more about fatigue and an ooky full feeling. I took a nap today so feel worlds better.
I have to give myself a shot yet which has been Ted's job. He's already in NH. We're joining him on Thursday. I'm glad as we will have a quasi vacation. I'm hoping during winter break to do something more ambitious. The chemo schedule has ruined so many fun potentials and some plans.
When we get back, I have a chemo appointment immediately and then two other appointments during the week. One is a CT scan to help the radiation doctors actually make a target of where to point at me. It's early to do this but it facilitates missing less work to schedule now. Radiation will start roughly three weeks after chemo is finished.
I've been trying to get ready for the trip and trying to keep the house together. Somehow the house is a mess and I'm not fully ready for the trip. It'll happen.
I picked up some medication today called "Kytril". It's a complicated anti-nausea medication that actually deals with one's brain not stomach. It sort of tells your brain to not acknowledge the nausea. I've barely used the samples I was given but thought I'd better fill the prescription. It cost me $40 but would've cost $1200 plus, full price! I really might not even use any or at least most of it. The pills are in sample packages. I'm writing this as I want to find a way to donate them should anyone have chemotherapy, need for these pills and crappy insurance. I can part with the leftovers that would be unopened in October. I'm also going to work on finding a connection but if anyone has any ideas, let me know, please.
We're leaving Thursday for NH. It'll be fun. It'll be nice to leave appointments behind for over a week.
We're all okay. The boys couldn't be better behaved. I hope this continues at the airport.
I had a yucky evening last night but am still doing well. Blood counts all good and last night was more about fatigue and an ooky full feeling. I took a nap today so feel worlds better.
I have to give myself a shot yet which has been Ted's job. He's already in NH. We're joining him on Thursday. I'm glad as we will have a quasi vacation. I'm hoping during winter break to do something more ambitious. The chemo schedule has ruined so many fun potentials and some plans.
When we get back, I have a chemo appointment immediately and then two other appointments during the week. One is a CT scan to help the radiation doctors actually make a target of where to point at me. It's early to do this but it facilitates missing less work to schedule now. Radiation will start roughly three weeks after chemo is finished.
I've been trying to get ready for the trip and trying to keep the house together. Somehow the house is a mess and I'm not fully ready for the trip. It'll happen.
I picked up some medication today called "Kytril". It's a complicated anti-nausea medication that actually deals with one's brain not stomach. It sort of tells your brain to not acknowledge the nausea. I've barely used the samples I was given but thought I'd better fill the prescription. It cost me $40 but would've cost $1200 plus, full price! I really might not even use any or at least most of it. The pills are in sample packages. I'm writing this as I want to find a way to donate them should anyone have chemotherapy, need for these pills and crappy insurance. I can part with the leftovers that would be unopened in October. I'm also going to work on finding a connection but if anyone has any ideas, let me know, please.
We're leaving Thursday for NH. It'll be fun. It'll be nice to leave appointments behind for over a week.
We're all okay. The boys couldn't be better behaved. I hope this continues at the airport.
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