More Surgery

As you can tell by the title, the news could be better.

As it turns out, the clear lymph node wasn't so clear. After more pathology looks, there was a 1/2 mm area of cancer. This means, I have to go back. I have to have a worse surgery.

The surgery will happen next week. I don't know when yet. I'm guessing Thursday. This will be to remove an area called a fat pad. It is where lymph nodes are clustered. I will undergo general anesthesia. I will then have to have a drain put in. This is an area the breast naturally drains into but given that healing needs to occur, the draining will be diverted. This is as best as I can understand this.

This is still outpatient surgery. Sounds terrible but sleeping at home with my children beats a hospital stay.

This also seals the deal for chemo. Had there been nothing, I think that would have been at least debatable.

If I have to find something optimistic, it is this. The area was so very tiny that even on-site biopsy and looks, found nothing. It is 1/2 mm. In the world outside of cancer, that doesn't even count. With cancer, it all counts. So, I'm going back in and with a situation I didn't really understand was a possibility.

The areas called margins, which are surrounding areas of tissue around the tumor, were all clear.

It's not a good day. This of course could be worse. I am here. I have two boys in the bath in the next room. They are the only people I know who remain at least mostly ignorant of this. Their ignorance is a breath of fresh air. I'm glad that they can't understand this. I wish I couldn't most of the time.

I'm finding mentions of prayers disturbing. If you wish to pray or put me on prayer lists, that's fine. I don't necessarily need to know about those kindnesses.

I will live through this. It's going to be a hideous summer. Some day I will look back on it and be glad that I got through it.