Cinderella?

I'm still doing well after my second round of chemo. I'm supposed to be sicker than last time but so far I'm much better. I have a weird and intermittent appetite but that's the worst of it. My energy could be better but it could be a lot worse. So, I'm appreciative for so much.

The big news is......I had my head shaved! Look. It was going to happen slowly and miserably so it was kind of like pulling a bandage off quickly. I found a very kind guy via the internet and a weird Google search of "chemo hair cut". I had trouble convincing two hair cutters to just get rid of it. I thought I had to go somebody who knew what this was all about. This guy had a very bad cancer and is living to tell about it. He let me cover my eyes and turned my back away from the mirror whenever possible. I cried a little before it all began but only a very little. No weeping.

The whole shop was set up for the um....older set. Let's just say, I was by far the youngest person there. Turns out that the older ladies were interested and kind about my loss of hair and of course my circumstances. When these big things happen, environment can be everything. It was in this case.

The other big news is that I walked out wearing a wig. I hadn't intended to buy one but this kind guy is also a good salesman. So, I have a wig that looks great. I'm not wearing it so much yet. I do the scarf thing. I will wear the wig when I return to work and when I go out for an evening I guess. Or not. We'll see. I'm hoping insurance will help cover it as it's supposed to. Hey! I have a prescription for a "cranial prosthesis". That's insurance talk for "wig". We'll see.

I'm not as freaked out about this as I'd expected. It helps that I feel pretty good physically. I think this journey is different for everyone of course. I can't lament my hair when I have survived what I've survived thus far. I have further to go but I've come a long way. I am no longer living in cold fear. I am with my children when they are with me. I am not sneaking away to cry. I am with everyone. I am actually less different now than when I was diagnosed, going through surgery and still had hair. At that time, I was functioning elsewhere and in some other capacity that I don't ever wish to return to. This is better. I also know that after this, it gets even better.

Today, Toby asked if he could touch the spot where my port was put in. It looks yucky as there is still glue stuff on it, a wound and a bruise. Oh yeah. I'm not just bald. I'm feeling Frankensteiny on top of that. But back to Toby. I let him touch the spot. I asked him if he thought it was yucky or if it scared him. He said, "No, you're Cinderella." So, I'm listening to my wise boy. I'm trying to think of myself as Cinderella rather than Frankenstein. I'm telling you, the boys make it do-able.